Friday, July 3, 2009
midnite rumble
Hmmm... been insomnia for 2 days. Ystd i cant sleep until 4am++ and woke at 7am. I was bz the whole day trying to apply for a new passport but somehow, 2day i cant sleep again... already goin 3am and im wide awake.
Dunno wats wrong with me. Something is terribly wrong with me i tink.
Haiz... life is frustrating sometimes. Especially in relationships area. When i gave up everything and take it as buddies, there seems to be hope. But when there is hope, i tend to be dissapointed.
I think it's better i jz keep it as buddies. It's better being the person he trusted most and still able to be by his side than to carry myself away because afraid of the hurt and pain and lost him forever.
It's very dam frustrating having feelings for ur best fren. Especially some1 as playful and flirty as him. When, i can keep myself under control and dun go talk/sms/msn/etc him 1st, he will come ask me "wat u doin". Sometimes, i wish he will draw a clear line wif me. A line that put me n him in "best fren" place. Or maybe all this while is myself confused and over think. Haiz... it's starting to feel painful hearing him talk bout this girl, that girl, this ex, that ex... ZZZzz i MIA better
Soon, i'll start my new work and i wont have time to on9 anymore. From there we will drift apart. Maybe it's a good thing after all...
Haiz... maybe i shud get a glass of vodka. It's been quite sometimes since i last drank. After drink maybe i can sleep...
Goin for another interview tml, at a place nearer to whr i stay - Phileo Damansara. Hopefully i can get the job with higher pay. Hehe...
Relationships... i tink im gonna give up on this. It's enuf to have buddies and frens. I shall work harder to save so that i can travel. Let the Wild Sagi inside me loose. That's why im trying to reapply for my passport so that i can put down everything that has been troubling me and go far far away even jz for a short time. How i wish i can go backpacking across the globe. Waaaa.... that will be geng!
Eh he... i 4got, i lost 7kg in 1mth+ LOL... nice... hope can go on losing more xD
